He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
