shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
