a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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