I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
