He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My pussy is not your playground.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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