then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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