C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
