Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
