I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
