Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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