I think I just saw someone hide a body.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Randomize
