can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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