dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I cut my penus on the lid.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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