she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize