Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
