Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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