margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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