Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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