Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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