i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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