If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
