whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
