How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
