i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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