I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
