I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
