Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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