Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
