I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
