it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
