Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize