You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
