Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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