so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
