Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize