she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
