**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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