Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
