can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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