Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
