My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
