i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have aggressive nipples.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
