but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
