Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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