She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
