new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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