apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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