trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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