And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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