For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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