If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
