Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I didn't notice because vodka
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
