I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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