Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
