I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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