carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
