Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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