Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
