okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
