whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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