I heard we made out
everyone is single if you try hard enough
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
